Connect with the Best Senior Care Homes Near You!

Monday, July 6, 2015

Don't Judge A Caregiver If You Have Never Been One

We all know that old saying walk a mile in my shoes. Well if you want to form an opinion about care giving live a day in my life!

It's easy to look from the outside and form opinions about people, we do it all the time. We see a mother who seems a bit short with her kids and are quick to rush to form the opinion she's a bad mother. We see an older child with an elderly parent who seem in a bad mood and we are quick to think she must be an ungreatful daughter. Have you been there, do you really know what its like to care for someone day in and day out. It can be exhausting and like most people when they are tired, their emotions are on edge. Even little things can eat at you when you are over tired. That is why I ask if you have never been a caregiver don't judge me.

My sister and I have been caring for my mother since my father passed away in 2001, yes that's right for the past 14 years we have been watching over her. Since she has sever macular degeneration it was not safe
for her to live alone after my father passed away. At first my husband and I remodeled our home so she could move in with us and she lived with us for 9.5 years. After it became apearent that I needed a break she moved in with my sister. Up until the last year and a half she was able to do many things for herself and could even stay home by herself while my sister went to work. But then she began getting a series of UTIs and things began to go down hill. After two hospitalizations and two stints in rehab my sister and I decided it was no longer safe to leave her alone. We devised a schedule wherein I care for her two days a week and her niece two days a week and my sister has her 3 days a week and at night.

Now to the outsider this may seem like and easy way to go. A well thought out plan, and it is to an extent but you have to remember, my mother can no longer do much of anything for herself so after working all day my sister has to make sure my mother is feed, dressed, dry and well my mother gets up at least every two hours to potty at night, each time taking her up to 45 minutes. With this happening every night you can well imagine that the stress of not having a good nights sleep and the constant presence of someone else in your home, someone who needs your attention, it wears on you. As my mother is now developing some memory issues and odd behaviors these are leading to more stress as we try to understand what is going on with her.

We have spent many nights in the hospital sleeping on the couch so that my mother would cooperate with the nurses and doctors, we have spent countless hours making sure she sees the doctors for follow up visits, ordered medications, scheduled physical therapy in home, worked with her diet to help health issues, look into and apply for va benefits for her to help cover the cost of care, manage what little funds she has left to make sure they stretch as long as possible... well you get the picture
 It is a full time job and both my sister and I have jobs. Mind you I am not complaining, I love my mother very much. I am just asking not to be judged. We all do the best we can. I thank God everyday for my sister as I know how much harder this would be alone.
So next time you see a person caring for a senior, if you can lend a hand, hold a door or just share an understanding smile,it would mean the world to us and may make you feel better too.

Until Next Time
Take Care
Ruth Anne

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please leave your comment, and Thank You.. Ruth Anne.