After another fall and a return to rehab for several weeks my sister and I have finally taken the steps to move mom to and Adult Foster Care Home ( also called Homes for the Aged ) on a full time basis. This was one of the hardest, heartwrenching decision we have ever had to make, but it was best for all.
|AFC - a house like you or I would live in, only with some modifications inside to accommodate the residents.|
My mom as you may know from my previous posts has lived with either myself or my sister since 2001 when dad passed away. She is now almost 92 and has started to develop dementia. My sister and I are not getting any younger and the increased care my mother required was making it very difficult. She could no longer be left alone even for a few hours to go shopping so we had to have someone with her around the clock and night time care literally meant no sleep for my sister, who has and needs to keep her daytime job as her husband was laid off after 27 years, leaving them with one income.
We therefore decided it was time. Time to make things better for all involved, especially mom. We searched and searched and finally found a wonderful Adult Foster Care Home only 10 minutes from both of us.
The home is set in the woods with beautiful views. The family lives in the upstairs part of the home and the downstairs walkout is set up for 6 residents ( all female ). They have 3 children, a dog and cat and are the nicest people you would ever want to meet. And as an added bonus the husband is a physical therapist!
Now the dreaded day had come, we had to tell her that she was not coming home after rehab, a task neither my sister nor I was looking forward to.
We felt it best if we both went together to tell her and so we chose today (Friday) and I must say it went very well. We told her that she would be going to a beautiful home to receive more therapy ( true because her aftercare will be handled by the company the husband works for ). We told her all about the family and how beautiful the house was and she seemed very excited about the prospect. Once she settles in our hope is that she will feel like she is at home and will forget about going back to my sisters. At least that is our hope.
Tuesday December 27th is the day she makes the move so I will keep you posted as to how it goes. Making the decision to move a parent from your full time care to an assisted living, nursing home or adult foster care home is not and easy one. We all love our parents and want the best for them. Sometimes the best is us - however when we become so stressed that our health begins to suffer or they need more care than we can provide, we must step up and make that hard decision. By moving mom to the Adult Foster Care Home we will be able to enjoy our time with her, visit as often as we like, have lunch and just spend time together. It was the right move for our family. We will let you know how it goes.
Until Next Time