Moving Mom Into An Adult Foster Care Home For the Aged

Hello Everyone,

After another fall and a return to rehab for several weeks my sister and I have finally taken the steps to move mom to and Adult Foster Care Home ( also called Homes for the Aged ) on a full time basis. This was one of the hardest,  heartwrenching decision we have ever had to make, but it was best for all.

AFC - a house like you or I would live in, only with some modifications inside to accommodate the residents.

My mom as you may know from my previous posts has lived with either myself or my sister since 2001 when dad passed away. She is now almost 92 and has started to develop dementia. My sister and I are not getting any younger and the increased care my mother required was making it very difficult. She could no longer be left alone even for a few hours to go shopping so we had to have someone with her around the clock and night time care literally meant no sleep for my sister, who has and needs to keep her daytime job as her husband was laid off after 27 years, leaving them with one income.

We therefore decided it was time. Time to make things better for all involved, especially mom. We searched and searched and finally found a wonderful Adult Foster Care Home only 10 minutes from both of us.

Macular Degeneration and Hallucinations

Hello Everyone, hope all are well. As I mentioned a couple of days ago, today I will share some interesting information on macular degeneration and hallucinations. Although unknown to many of us, people with macular degeneration or other low vision problems often see hallucinations. I became aware of this one day when I took my mother to the eye doctor many years ago.

 
Macular Degeneration. The macula is made up of millions of light-sensing cells that provide sharp, central vision. It is the most sensitive part of the retina, which is located at the back of the eye. When the macula is damaged, the center of your field of view may appear blurry, distorted, or dark.



My mother's macular degeneration started some 28 years ago before there was any real research being done on the affliction. There were no shots to slow the progression as there are today, so she lost most of her sight in just the course of a few years. She was, as she is to this day, almost totally blind, having no central vision at all and only hazy peripheral vision.

One day before her sight was as bad as it is now I took her to a wonderful sight specialist in Grosse Pointe, Michigan. Her name is Lylas G. Mogk, M.D. She is a lovely doctor, very kind who had a father with macular degeneration. She also wrote a very wonderful book on the subject sharing not only medical information about the affliction but she also shared many personal items about how her father coped with losing his sight. As we walked down the hall to the exam room we noticed some drawings on the wall that looked like they had been done by children and we thought how quaint. As it turned out, those drawings were not done by children but in fact by her patients. They were drawings of the hallucinations they had experienced. Several of the drawings were remarkably similar, rows of houses with long stairs or children playing in the yard.

My mom could still see a bit better back then, and when she saw the drawings she said, "those look like the things I see". Until then I did not even know she was having hallucinations. She never talked about it, fearing people would think she was crazy. And that is how many people who have these hallucinations feel. They know the things are not real and if they talk about them maybe someone with think they are losing their mind, so they stay quiet.

There is in fact a real syndrome that people with vision problems relating to hallucinations may suffer from called - Charles Bonnett Syndrome or CBS.

If you would like to read more about this condition,  Charles Bonnett Syndrome, I have included a link to a web page with more information : CLICK HERE

If you are a caregiver and your client or family member says they see things that are not there, don't jump to the conclusion that they are starting down the road to dementia. If they have not had their eyes checked recently, then now may be the time. The things they see may be related to the development of macular degeneration, glaucoma or some other vision loss affliction. The sooner they can receive treatment the better is the hope that they can preserve as much of their vision as possible. I asked my mother yesterday if she still had these hallucinations and she said only very rarely, not like she did before. And the information on CBS does say that most of the time these hallucinations stop occurring or lessen with time.

If you know or care for someone with vision trouble, and they had never said anything about seeing strange things, maybe it's time to ask them in a kindly way. If they have had hallucinations, it could be a wonderful relief to them knowing they are not the only one seeing things that are not there. No one wants to be the only one.

I hope this information has been informative and helpful. The more we as caregivers know about such things, the better we can help those we care for and that in turn leads to less stress. And what caregiver does not want less stress! If you have information or experience with any of the things you read here or want to ask a question, please feel free to do so. We are on this journey together and remember it takes a village....We are your village!

Until Next Time Take Care

Ruth Anne

Today Is Another Family Caregiver Day

This morning I don my family PAL hat, as opposed to my professional PAL hat.

 

Monday is one of my days to care for mom. So up at 5:30 a.m. to be to sisters by 8:00. Mom needs to go for blood tests today and can't eat, so we're going to get an early start... well so I thought.

Mom is getting very slow these days so I need to be super patient which isn't always easy. Most of us are so used to doing things fast - just donning our clothes and jumping in the car. Not so when you are a person of 91 years. An hour to dress an then 15 minutes to load into car before we can go. But that is just the way it is, we must move at their speed, we cannot hurry the family member we care for.

After blood tests mom wants to go to lunch. I can't say no, she doesn't get out much and lunch out means so much to her, and its worth the effort. I then spend the rest of the day with her at my sisters house while my sister is at work. I know how stressful this is becoming for my sister and I try to do as much as I can to lighten the load. Tomorrow I have my client I care for but must spend some time looking into a place for mom. Will update you on the search process and how it all progresses.

Until then Take Care

Ruth Anne

Caring for Mom and Dad

Dear Friends,

Did you see the recent PBS show entitled: Caring For Mom & Dad ?

 

Until now my blog posts have been about being a professional caregiver. However today I want to switch gears a bit and talk about being a PAL caregiver for a family member. You see I have done both. If you have read my posts you know  I have worked for other families caring for their loved ones, however I have never posted about caring for a family member as I have done for many many years. I can tell you from experience that they are in so many ways very different

My father passed away in 2001 suddenly, leaving my mother, who has severe macular degeneration, to live alone. My siblings and I did not feel that it was safe for her to live alone as she was about 45 minutes away from both my sister and I  and could not drive or care for other needs on her own. She was 77 at the time. Without hesitation we decided to have mom move in with us and she lived with my husband and I for 9 1/2 years. She has now been living with my sister for the last 4 1/2 years and is now 91.

The stress of having someone else in your household is heavy. The decisions you have to make for a family member such as a mom or dad are complicated and not always easy.