Procedure for Setting Up VA Fiduciary Account for Mom's Benefits

"It Really Was Quite Easy and Painless. "

Hello All,

Today we finally had the meeting with the rep from the VA to set up the Fiduciary Account for mom's Aid and Attendance Benefits. As promised I will tell you all how it went and what I found out about the process. 

The meeting was very informal. We met at the Adult Family Home where mom is now living. The rep needed to meet with my sister who was to become the fiduciary and my mom, in order to assess her abilities to handle her own money. I went along to see how the process worked and just in case there where any questions about her application since I was the one who filed the initial forms.

The rep was very nice. She asked my mom the usual questions when checking for dementia; Do you know what year it is? Do you know who is president? Do you know where you are? Have you been in the hospital in the past year? Mom was able to answer some of the questions but with further conversation and my mom's own admittance, it was obvious that she needed help and could not manage her money on her own. 

The rep then gathered required information. She needed copies of my mother's financial  statements, bank accounts and any other sources of funds. She needed verification of my mother's current monthly income - social security and any other sources besides the VA benefits. A list of her current medical expenses was also needed - medicare supplement premiums, and lists of medications and cost of care at the Adult Family Home. Then she asked for two references from my sister who would testify to my sisters trustworthiness. She also asked for my sisters approximate yearly income.

After gathering all the information she went over the process for setting up the account. My sister will receive a letter of approval from the VA after they complete a background and credit check on her.  She then needs to take the letter along with a direct deposit form which the rep gave her to the bank and have them set up the account. The account will be in my mother's name with my sister's name listed as fiduciary. She said any bank can be used. Once the account is set up the back payment that is owed to my mother will be deposited into the account and her regular monthly payments will start going into that account.  

Here are a few rules about how the account is to be handled:

•  My sister will have to write checks from this account directly to the Adult Family Home, she cannot transfer the money into mom's other account and write one check, she will have to write two checks every month.
• There is never to be any commingling of funds with any of my sisters own money. The money is to be used only to pay for mom's  care ( already knew that ).
• My sister must keep records of all expenses in case they were to ever audit the account. Not hard since it's money in money out kind of situation.
• We are to notify the VA if mom moves or goes on medicaid anytime in the future. 

Other than that it was pretty straight forward. The meeting lasted about 30 minutes and she wanted to see my mother's room before she left. We were glad to get this piece of the puzzle in place so that from here on out things should be straight forward. 

By the way, if someone has ever filed for bankruptcy they cannot be a fiduciary for another under the VA rules. 

Hope this helps you if you are facing this procedure in the future. It really was quite easy and painless. We are very grateful to have these benefits for mom as they allow us to have her in a nice quiet place with some wonderful people looking after her. Without the VA we would have had to apply for medicaid and then the uncertainty of where she would end up would have been an issue. We will have to apply for medicaid in the future if she out lives what she has left but at least this buys us some time (about 4 years) to see what our options are without having to make a hasty decision we may regret. 

If you are in a situation like ours, I suggest that you take the time to research medicaid facilities, as I will be doing, over the course of the next several months. Find out what facilities take medicaid and if there is a waiting list. I find being proactive makes things easier and less stressful for all. 

Until Next Time
Take Care All,
Ruth Anne

Moving Mom Into An Adult Foster Care Home For the Aged

Hello Everyone,

After another fall and a return to rehab for several weeks my sister and I have finally taken the steps to move mom to and Adult Foster Care Home ( also called Homes for the Aged ) on a full time basis. This was one of the hardest,  heartwrenching decision we have ever had to make, but it was best for all.

AFC - a house like you or I would live in, only with some modifications inside to accommodate the residents.

My mom as you may know from my previous posts has lived with either myself or my sister since 2001 when dad passed away. She is now almost 92 and has started to develop dementia. My sister and I are not getting any younger and the increased care my mother required was making it very difficult. She could no longer be left alone even for a few hours to go shopping so we had to have someone with her around the clock and night time care literally meant no sleep for my sister, who has and needs to keep her daytime job as her husband was laid off after 27 years, leaving them with one income.

We therefore decided it was time. Time to make things better for all involved, especially mom. We searched and searched and finally found a wonderful Adult Foster Care Home only 10 minutes from both of us.

Great Alternative to A Nursing Home : Adult Foster Homes For The Aged

Have you heard of Adult Foster Care Homes For The Aged ?

Hello Everyone I hope all are doing well today. Yesterday evening in our search for a nice place for mom, my sister and I visited an Adult Foster Home for the elderly (AFC). They are in a different class than regular foster homes and are specifically set up for elder care. These homes are popping up all over the place as the need for elder care is increasing and people dread the thought of a nursing home. I can tell you they are a wonderful choice for many. But as always one must do your homework.

Let me give you an idea of the set up. They are a home, yes a house like you or I would live in, only with some modifications inside to accommodate the residents. But from the outside you could never tell that a regular family did not live there. Many states put them in several categories, the smallest being a 1-6 resident, then they go up to 7-12 etc.

The home we looked at yesterday was beautiful and the people were wonderful. It is run by a young polish couple and they have three kids. They live in the upstairs of the home and the lower level is set up for the residents. What I personally like about these types of homes is the small setting with ease of navigation around a beautiful space that is not to big. This makes it great for those with dementia as they are not inclined to get lost as much as they would in a large residence. The people who run these homes and also live there usually have wonderful food, and we smelled some great polish cooking as they had finished dinner not to long before we arrived. The presence of children and a kitty cat added to the stimulation and interaction of the residents and this is wonderful for the children to grow up in. It is such a loving environment. It was bright and clean and just wonderful. 

If you are looking for a place for a loved one, check out Adult Foster Homes for the Aged. Now they are a bit hard to find. Usually you have to find them from referrals, but if you go to your states website on housing and regulatory affairs - here's the Michigan site http://www.dleg.state.mi.us/brs_afc/sr_afc.asp , you can type in your zip code and search for them. You may also find ones for the mentally ill listed there so you have to click on the name to see what kind of care they provide, some are only mentally ill and disabled others are strictly homes for the aged and those with dementia. On your states website you can also check to see if the home has had any violations and if so what they were. The state should be quite open and specific in sharing the violation and subsequent follow up, along with any actions taken by the state. This is what I mean by doing your homework. But in this case the state can make it very easy. 

My sister and I have now chosen two places we think mom would do well in, the only thing holding us up is making the final decision to move her and it's a tough one. Like my sister said yesterday, 'some days I think I can do this and other days I just don't think I can take it anymore'. I am right there with her. Some days my back is breaking helping mom shower and dress but then I look at her and she gives me that smile and tells me she loves me and I think, 'I can't make her move'.

It can be so hard to make the final decision about moving your loved one. I wish there was someone who would just come in and say "here is what needs to be done now!". But that's not going to happen. The decisions are up to my sister and I and we both love my mom so much, as I know you love those you are caring for. 

AFC - a house like you or I would live in,
only with some modifications inside
to accommodate the residents.

I suggested to my sister maybe respite care for a month or two the rest of the summer, but that is more expensive and mom's resources are limited, however it may give my sister and here husband the break they need. I have also offered to stay with mom for some long weekends so they can escape for awhile. So we will see. It isn't easy and as always there is the guilt we caregivers feel - the ever present guilt - ugg!

Until Next Time
Take Care
Ruth Anne